misplaced loyalty

It’s my fault, I know it.

Historically, I’ve a tendency to embrace a new person/company without reservation, flinging myself into the relationship with abandon. Never stopping to think…does that person/company deserve my loyalty?

Everything is rosy at first. Who can resist feeling useful? That’s human nature. Requests for help are met with an unqualified yes from me. Photography, accounting, writing, you name it. If I think I can help someone and I have the skills they need, I jump right in there. Both feet. Right smack into Very Deep Quicksand.

There’s reciprocity at first, and seemingly genuine gratitude, but the further I go down this happy-to-help-you road, the quicker that all falls by the wayside.

And then it starts….

Slowly, at first. More solicitations for help, which isn’t really the point, but also more expectations of hearing “yes.” I don’t notice, then I do, that the requests come either more frequently or with less appreciation, or both. All of a sudden, the person/company thinks they’re entitled.

It’s often not the favor they want that’s so objectionable, it’s their presumption that I won’t say no, no matter what it is. “Let’s ask Deb! She’ll do it!”

Eventually the person/company makes an assumption that’s so outlandish, it pushes me over the cliff.

I’ve got examples. Boy, do I have examples….

*The woman who asked me to do her corporation’s year-end and tax returns. She knew, at the time, that they’d be filing Chapter 11 soon, but “forgot” to tell me. Believe it or not, that wasn’t the shove over the cliff….it was when she destroyed my pre-petition invoice, then picked up the phone to call and tell me what she’d done, and, thinking she was doing me a favor, told me to re-bill the company post-petition. In other words, commit fraud. She assumed, being “friends,” that I’d do that. Result? Loss of about $2,000. But I kept my license and my integrity.

*The guy who wanted accounting help for his firm. I actually took personal days off from my “real job” to go have a look. Seems his bookkeeper was double-booking his cash receipts, his trust account hadn’t been balanced in a year, and his bookkeeper before that had stolen from him (Quelle Surprise). He said he’d pay me to straighten out the mess….until he got my bill, and cried like a school child. He still owes. Well over $1,000. Thus far I have restrained myself from prancing back and forth in front of his office door with my middle fingers extended.

*The company/VP who wanted writing help. [I was the college kid who tested out of all the English requirements and re-wrote every composition my dorm mates brought to me. See? I was doing it way back then, too.] I edited submissions for awards. I proofread. I started writing for the newsletter. The shit hit the proverbial fan when one of my articles was used without authorization for another corporate entity, and another was so badly edited when published that it’s completely FUBAR’d. I’ve asked for a retraction or a reprint, but have yet to get it.

*The woman whom I fed every holiday, did innumerable favors for, free tax work for over a decade, garden labor, loans….was discovered to be trash-talking about me behind my back in terms that would make a sailor blush.

So…what to do, what to do? One can hardly spend the rest of one’s life never trusting another person/company. As soon as I take that approach, some very worthy non-blood-sucking people/companies are sure to come into my life, and I wouldn’t want to pass on the opportunity to get involved with the Good Guys. On the other hand, having had my teeth kicked in so many times, I’m inclined to go sit in the time-out corner and contemplate the situation. I’m taking pizza and beer with me; I might just stay there awhile.

Radio Technique at Non-towered Airports

Based on what I’m hearing lately, the winter and extended lousy spring flying weather may’ve left a lot of us a bit rusty in the communication area. I’m fairly certain that “okey-dokey” is not a standard radio call, nor is “no problem.” I checked the AIM and the Pilot/Controller Glossary and couldn’t find ‘em anywhere. Don’t forget to use your call sign any time you reply to anyone. And what is with the pilots who begin every call they make with “…and….?” Did they key their mics halfway though their call and we’ve missed something important like, say, the fact that they’re breathing down our tailpipes?

Listen first, before you key that mic and ‘step on’ another pilot. Start your calls 10 miles out. Be brief, yet complete; unhurried, but don’t take a day and a half either – remember, you’re talking on a party line. If you need to have an extended conversation with another aircraft (about anything other than flying), switch over to the air-to-air frequency, 122.750. Your aircraft call sign needs to be mentioned right after the name of the airport traffic to which you’re self-announcing. Using your aircraft model name will provide a better visual than the aircraft manufacturer’s name. You can call yourself a Cessna all you want, but there’s a world of difference between a Citation and a Skyhawk! Mention the airport name again, at the end of your call, in case another pilot didn’t catch the beginning of your transmission.

“Indy Exec traffic, Skyhawk 5-2 echo foxtrot, 10 miles northeast at 4000, inbound, landing, 1-8, Executive.”

“Kokomo traffic, Skylane 4-6 echo foxtrot, 10 miles northeast at 2900 on a practice ILS 23 approach, low approach only, Kokomo.”

“Boone County traffic, Premier 1-2-3-4 alpha, turning final, 3-6, Boone County.” [Kidding. Just checking to see if you’re all still awake.]

See AIM 4-1-9-g and h for more recommended self-announce phraseologies.

A final reminder: even though you’ve probably heard pilots who should know better stating “traffic in the area, please advise,” that is not a recognized Self-Announce Position or Intention phrase and should not be used, ever.

Blue skies, tailwinds, and safe flying!

gardening theory

While weeding today, I came up with some theories regarding gardening. Keep in mind, it was 98°F in the shade and I forgot to take water out there again, so maybe some of these “truths” are only figments born of heat induced delirium….

There is a difference between landscaping and a garden. Landscaping is what you install to ensure your home doesn’t look like it was just plopped down in the middle of a corn field. Oh...it was….never mind. It’s also what your realtor advises you plant to ensure great “curb appeal” and his or her next commission. A garden, on the other hand, is what you plant because you love beautiful, living things. A well thought-out garden will add more value to your home than landscaping….but you don’t care, because that’s not the reason you planted it.

If you don’t enjoy weeding and just being out there, mingling with your plants and the bugs and all nature’s critters, don’t plant a garden. [There are exceptions for spiders and chipmunks. See below.]

Plants are going to do one of two things – grow, or die. I cringe whenever I hear “oh, we had to take that shrub out, it got too big.” Either the garden shop fibbed to you about mature size, or you didn’t believe them. Think a one gallon, two foot Norway Spruce won’t grow into a 100’ tree? Think again! Though they’d kill it on purpose by digging it out, these same folks get upset when a plant/shrub/tree dies on its own. If you don’t want your plants to grow, why not just run over to K-Mart, buy yourself some nice red plastic geraniums, and call it a day?

Shrubs usually don’t grow in round shapes. If you want round shapes in your front yard, I suggest you plant bowling balls. I have a friend whose husband refused to believe that shrubs should be hand-pruned. I had to send her this link
http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/HO-4.pdf
so that she could prove her case. Another friend’s husband insists on “ballifying” their shrubs annually. This overwhelming need to ballify seems to be, for the most part, most prevalent in men. Hmmmm…..

I have 'gone green," and am now mowing with this…

Now before you think I’m all noble and everything, the truth is, it was a financial decision. I retain the old-fashioned notion that I shouldn’t hire people I can’t pay, and I can’t afford a “real” (pun intended) mower, either. So far, it hasn’t been as bad as I thought, and there are some advantages. I can mow at Oh-dark-hundred without upsetting my neighbors. My garage doesn’t stink like gasoline. I don’t need a gym membership. It does an OK job, for the most part. It actually cuts through the thicker grass fairly well. It’s the thin scraggly stuff under the trees that, as I head its direction, lies prone before the mower, as though saying, wait, wait until I grow some more, I can’t live like this! Actually, a goat would probably do a better job, but would leave gifts behind, and I already have enough of that with Jasmine.

Chipmunks are vermin. They are not cute. They build multi-family multi-generation chipmunk condos in your backyard, dig up the foundation of your house, and dig up every plant you put in. Right now, they're mocking me and my poison peanuts. Give them pool passes every chance you get.

Wear clothes when you garden. Yes, I know that should be evident. You won’t get that much of a tan while gardening, anyway. The point here is, spider bites are not fun. Currently, I have a forearm half the size of Montana. It’s red, swollen, and itchy. I’m lucky, from what I hear, that I didn’t have an anaphylactic reaction.

I swore I wouldn’t whine about the heat this year, considering the duration of last winter. I may have to renege on that promise. The temperatures here have been insane….and I’m headed that direction. Bring your rake, your garden gloves, and a six pack, maybe two….I promise, you'll be entertained.