talkin’ ‘bout my guy(s)

It’s been one big struggle for me to write this blog entry. The depth of my gratitude is just not coming though and I’m sounding like an idiot. How do you let guys know what a difference they’ve made? I mean, they’re guys, for Pete’s sake. They don’t communicate. When forced to talk, they grunt their responses, all the while staring at the television. They don’t talk about touchy-feely stuff, right?

Or maybe they do. Some of ‘em.

Completely by accident and all of a sudden (so typical of me lately, to be that oblivious), I look up and something in my life has changed. I have a pack! Call them my homeboys, my guy committee, my band of brothers. It is like having a huge family of nothing but brothers, the brothers I always wished I’d had to help guide me through life. Do this, don’t do that, don’t be scared, you can do it….advice, confidence, someone looking after me.

I know what you’re thinking - how very odd, she’s writing something positive about the male gender for a change. It’s true, there are a few of them who frustrate me more than, say, trying to thread cooked spaghetti through a keyhole.

Several of them are “new,” but more are from the past. The unfortunate bit about that…more of my past has become my present. Damned the past, anyway. Who asked you to show up now? So that rabbit hole beckons me again. At some point, I suppose I’m going to have to go willingly, see what is down there, find out what it is that so haunts me, and make my peace.

Oh hell. This was not on my calendar any time soon. If ever.

All these guys have a way of being amazingly complementary in an oddly matter of fact way… yet forcing me to remember who I was, to consider who I am now, to wonder who I should be, can be, who they think I am…which is the real girl? Instead of hearing “give up, you can’t, you won’t, you’ll never, you’re dreaming,” I’m hearing them say “you can do it, it will be OK, we’ll help you.” Quite the refreshing change, after hearing so much negativity for years on end.

My guys. You’re workin’ magic and you don’t even know it.