statistics update

I need to update my statistics. I may be setting some sort of record, and it’s sure not a record I’m happy about.

I’m pretty sure I’ve surpassed the 300 mark in terms of job applications (that’s since about April 2008). The only reason I say “pretty sure” is that in the beginning I was not tracking them on a spreadsheet, just printing out the application or email, the reason for that being I never dreamt it would take more than a few months to secure work. When that folder full of printed applications and subsequent emailed rejections got too big to fit in the drawer, I stopped printing and started tracking electronically. I can account for 285 there….add another six months’ worth of search, and I think I’ve easily topped 300. One of these days when it’s too miserable to do outside chores (which could be any day now, we’ve had so much rain, and are predicted to have even more), I’m going to go through that file and record those, too. Call me morbidly curious.

Of all of these, I’ve had only 13 interviews to date. I’m not counting the countless treks to every agency in town. Turns out, most recruiting companies just collect resumes and collect your reference names so that they can turn around and call them. It’s bait and switch, near as I can tell.

I tell you, this is exhausting. It has been three years since I’ve had anything that resembles a normal life. I want normal back. I can’t begin to tell you how much I want normal.

I have resumes and business cards all over town. I’ve registered on every corporate job board I can think of and spend a good chunk of each morning sifting through all the computer-generated job leads, applying for those that match my expertise. I have pestered everyone I meet and everyone I know for either a job or a project or a referral. Full time, part time, project at a time….I like working, and always have.

Very few folks I know come close to understanding the strain. If the recession has not impacted their lives or lifestyle, they understand it even less.

If you know me at all, you know I’m motivated, energetic, intellectually curious, grounded, competent, and the polar opposite of lazy. I do not sit and watch TV and eat bon-bons. Hell, the TV in the kitchen has been broken for over a year; best I can do out there is listen to the news while I prepare meals, which is the only time the televisions in the house are turned on anyway (5am, 5pm), unless I have someone here who wants to watch…a rarity in itself.

As a former BF once wrote to me, “you’re not the do nothing kind.” He knows me and my capabilities and tells me I do good work. I just wish he’d help. I think he may have a lot of connections, but has yet to call any of them on my behalf. I wish he would.

As another guy I recently met recently said, “you must be a good money manager.” Yes, I am, but at some point you have to have some to manage. You cannot cost-cut your way to prosperity.

As another male friend said, just the other day, “you’ve got to catch a break sometime, Deb.” Well yes, you would think that eventually it will be my turn on the Good Karma Wheel of Fortune. It’s not like I’m not trying to make my own luck, either. The effort is there, every single day.

I haven’t given up.